I try not to miss the exposition of the holy eucharist. It happens every Thursday at my catholic church. The smell of incense fires up my euphoric experience. I did my favorite form of prayer, The Chaplet of The Divine Mercy during it, and then stared at the image of Jesus as it was revealed to St. Faustina.
That’s when I heard the familiar voice, from which the force of life springs forth. This voice saves me every time. I simply cannot survive without hearing it. This affirming yet so gentle voice said, “Nobody receives me like you receive me.”
Of course not a single Christian receives Jesus the same way. We all have an individual relationship with Jesus. There are so many possibilities. It hasn’t even been 5 years yet since I first received Jesus, and not even 4 years since I have converted to Catholicism but I had already gone through so many stages and forms of relationships with the Lord. At our first meeting, he ignited intense fear in me. Then the next moment, the relationship turned into a pure bliss. It was pretty hard to take in. The scope of the emotions I was feeling were so vast and outstretching, and even though I could boast that I have a mastery of the ability to feel emotions, this feeling was just too much to contain in my small little heart. My mind could not make a sense of it.
He’s the only lover I had since my divorce, an you know how they say that love heals? It’s so true. Jesus’s love for me, and my love for Jesus, healed my damaged brain and a shattered heart. Of all the relationships that Jesus and I had been developing, by far, no relationship tops that of the loving healer and the hurt.
There was that first encounter with Jesus when I received Him for the first time. It was a mystical experience that I cannot put into words. But my receiving Jesus did not stop there. I receive Him every second, every minute, every hour and every day. He comes so many times, and when He does, it’s like I am receiving Him for the first time. It’s so fresh every time, and I don’t know how this is possible. But you know what the bible says! With God, all things are possible.
It’s like the movie 50 First Dates. Every day, I wake up wondering what kind of relationship is in store for me that day. Like a butterfly with many colors, or like a chameleon, I am His creature of many faces, always waiting and longing to see that one and only Holy Face.
So today, I receive him as I have never received before because He comes like never before. It’s quite striking, this divine relationship.