There are many variations of Pachelbels’ Canon. I have some that I frequent to aid me during some of my major mood variations. They each have their own benefits WITHOUT any side effects-as far as I know-.
* Mood stabilizer:
It starts out quiet, then rises to a crescendo, and stays high thoroughly. This is the dream come true for all the bipolar people. One by one more instruments are added, and you end with full orchestra. Perfect for any full-blown manic episodes. This is also the version I listen to when I am deeply distressed in the depressive episode, and during the period of my hypomanic episode. Strangely, it works on both ends of the bipolar spectrum. Towards the end, I always reach the grandiose delusional musical experience. And after this experience is had, I feel much calmer.
When it feels like thick cloud is building up in my head, I go for this version. There is a sense of lifting, and I always have this vision of a child hopping in the rain. It makes me feel better. Then after the climax, it suddenly slows down and moves onto a completely different tune “With or Without You” by U2. It’s like time travel. You start with Pachelbel times and end up in the U2 era. That transition comes out of nowhere, just like any depressive episode, going into the episode or out. With or without depression, this is a beautiful version to listen to in all conditions, but this song was particularly effective for me during my depressive episode two years ago.
* Happy Pill:
This acts like an extra dosage, or the occasional pills I would take when I need an extra boost. This the the happy pill. It gives me so much energy and a temporary high. At times, it could also function as an emergency pill, something I could rely on right before I feel like crashing, crashing fast. This is my electric shock therapy.
On normal, healthy days, this is just perfect. The image of a solo pianist in the dark won’t make me grieve, and I am strong enough to handle the relaxation this light piano sound creates. It gives me more room to reflect, contemplate, and just simply “be”. I can never get enough of this state, as I don’t get to visit this state of stability too often. This never prolongs long. Soon, I am back to the full-blown orchestra, grand and big, and full of drama.
Some days, I go back and forth on all the variations I listed above. Imagine that.
3 Comments Add yours
Wow. This is the best way of explaining what its like for us bipolars. Check out my blog http://www.eleenah.wordpress.com 🙂
Keep Holding On 🙂
I will frequently check out your blog. In overcoming it, I have learned that you need to learn to attend to the details of the episodes, and at the same time, be able to look at the bigger picture and look far and beyond. I wish you the best! Hope is the best therapy. And music, works wonders. 🙂
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