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The drive to the church involves a hilly ride through the national state park area. Right across from the preserved natural land, sits my church proudly. It’s quite an impressive organization that offers local charity works, and  is deeply involved with outreach programs. But most of all, it successfully feeds spiritual drink and food to its members who bring their thirsty and hungry souls. It has been my spiritual refuge ever since I moved to Maryland. I love this House of God very much.

But to get to this impressive place of peace, I have to drive over an equally impressive steep hill. It won’t be so bad if I were driving a light loaded mini van, or a sedan. If I had a Jeep here like I did in Hawaii, I would have very much enjoyed this part of the drive. But I drive my sister’s giant van that feels like a bus to my easily overwhelmed mind. I add more pressure on the gas pedal when I start to approach the hill. Sometimes if the red stop light gets me, I have to come to a complete stop at the foot of the hill. Those are the moments that I wish I had some sleek, sporty vehicle. I feel the weight of the van gravitating downward as I drive it up the hill. It’s symbolic in the way that it resembles the spiritual battle between my struggle to move towards the light and the magnificent pull of the dark force that wants to draw me back to the pit of darkness.

It’s a cloudless day today and the sun is rising fast. It’s already a few feet above the top of the hill I am trying to drive up. It’s so bright, it’s hard to keep my eyes opened. I look for a pair of sunglasses my sister might have left in the car, but it is nowhere to be found. See how bright it is, the light of glory. See how uplifting it is, the weight of glory. See how beautiful it is, the promise of this glorious, bright morning. I think, in silence, contemplating how my dark past has become like a set of spiritual sunglasses for me.

I now regard all my dark times as my manufacturing years. Under the management of the Lord, I was His worker, producing my spiritual sunglasses. I don’t turn my face away from the direct Light of His shining glory anymore. I understand where the Light comes from. It comes from the Lord. It’s the Light that shined my path during my dark years. It’s the Light that always accompanied me. It’s the Light that never abandoned me. I see the Light for what it really is now. It’s so complex, yet simple. It’s so unimaginable, yet truthfully plain. I see how He acted as my God all the days of my dark life. How could I not have recognized that Light then? With His help during my dark coloring days, I have now with me this set of my spiritual sunglasses. I can look up and face the sun. I can now bear the Light of the Lord when I see the glory of God.

But if the day comes when God no longer has to reveal Himself through the burning bush, but shows me Himself as who He really is, am I ready for that day? Are my eyes adjusting to the glorious Light of the Lord?

Before I knew it, I was already at the top of the hill. And that swift tipping point came to pass, and I started my descend down to the flat part of my journey. The rest is easy from here. The church is just a couple of minutes away.

The biggest difference between the people of the world and the people of God is that the former live their entire lives preparing themselves for the worst while the latter live preparing for the best. The tipping point hovers over your soul outside the timeline. It is that moment that finally determines the fate of your soul. Your soul takes her final flight to the destination that awaits. Two different laws of gravity apply here. The Law of Mercy, or the Law of Justice. Which universe is the soul aviating to? What awaits after the tipping point? I know what awaits me. It’s an indescribably, unfathomably, and remarkably marvelous place.

So till then, here I am preparing my soul for the best. I put my sunglasses on and continue my walk towards the Light. For I was blind, but now I see.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

– John Newton