Before my head does a crazy thing again, I must try to remember this wonderful morning. My brief 20 minute power run to the cafe, and lively conversations with my regular customers, reading stories in the Washington Post, watching the Monday morning breaking through, the sun rising up higher and higher, cars gathering in the parking lot, warm late spring light on my skin, the fresh morning air, and the smell of acasia. I must remember these things.

I’ve had many months, years of watching the sunrise over the magnificent pacific ocean in Hawaii, I’ve seen many beautiful sunrises on a peaceful golf course, but to me, the sunrise behind the parking lot of this busy shopping center this morning is the most beautiful sunrise by far. I am grateful to be alive, and grateful to be stronger than I ever was after battling through numerous episodes of bipolar depression. I now can offer more compassionate, more loving, more peaceful, and more forgiving gaze to the morning sun.

And no matter how painful things may get, no matter how far my depression may drag me down, I make these promises to myself.

I promise that I will only love. I will always love to the best of my ability while I am here on earth.

I promise to never shy away from the battles of light and darkness, and I will always let light win.

I promise that I will always love the first morning light of each day, and treasure every morning sunrise just the way it comes.

I promise that I will always choose life, and keep the torch of light burning here in my small corner of the world.

And I will defend that light till the end of the days.

By the power that comes from Christ, I promise that I will be His strong servant.