* * *

Winter light displays are installed every few feet of the park path. The lights are not on yet. It’s only 9 in the morning on sunday. It’s quiet in the park. I don’t see a soul. Only a flock of birds napping on the lake, gently gliding on the serene glossy water. I sit alone atop a hill overlooking the lake. The sun is already up and blazing but the winter cold air won’r budge. I close my eyes and take a big gulp of the freezing morning air. This is my effort to piece my shattered mind back together. This is the only way I know to find my way back to peace. This is how I heal myself, how I restore.

Suddenly I hear a soothing female voice whispering in my ear.

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

St. Teresa of Avila’s words have instant power to penetrate straight into me. They replace the chill in my heart from the winter cold, and the despair in my mind from the daily anxieties. Tears flow down from my eyes as I wonder how it is that my tears always stay so warm regardless of my emotional weather of joy, happiness, sadness and grief.

And just like that, I am rescued from my quick fall into the deeper gloom, where permanent sense of despair and hopelessness punish my soul mercilessly.

Now the birds are awake. They are about to take a flight. One by one, they start to glide the water faster and faster until the fastest one finally takes her flight, and takes off. All others follow, and soon, all the birds are off to a warmer place, perhaps.

It is time for me to go to a warmer place, too. I get up from the bench, take one more big gulp of fresh winter air. Then I turn on the engine of my black sedan to drive me to the Mass to be held just across the park.