Alarm rings at four. My biorhythm has changed, and this winter, I find it very hard to wake up early. Aggravation and irritation take over my mind in an instance. ‘I’d rather join a military… I’m going to die of waking up early one of these days…’ I murmur in frustration, still half asleep. I feel disturbed, almost abused, and I am already hating the morning crowd who demand coffee from me every morning. I am sick of it.
By the time I got out of bed after my inner struggle, my brain was fully awake. It started to fight back. It was fighting against the darkness that was invading my mind quickly. I had a sudden vision of my Korean pastor back in Tennessee. He’s already praying in the church. It’s 4 in the morning in Tennessee. I can picture his morning routine that never changed for almost a decade. At 3 in the morning, he leaves his house. He drives to the Korean Baptist Church located in Christiana, TN a very small rural town. It’s about 15 minute drive from his home. He turns the heater up for the church members who will be joining him in an hour or so. And he prays. Every morning.
And I want to join his morning battle, too. Not for a prosperous future. Not for a solid retirement. But for the kingdom of God.
For years, my problem has never really been not being able to wake up early. If anything, I wished that I can sleep until 5 or 6 like most normal people do. My brain was simply incapable of sleeping late, always waking up between 3 and 4. During my hyper seasons-Spring and Summer-, I’d wake up way before 2 o’clock. It was such a torture sometimes.
Now understand the agony most people face every morning. It’s hard to wake up and start the day. I now understand why they have to rely on caffeine. I now understand the alluring power of a coffee shop, exuberating the smell of freshly brewed coffee all the way out to the parking lot. I know understand, why those morning people come in with such grumpy spirit to contaminate my lively-self and damp my spirit. It turns out, they have been fighting this battle against their abusive morning routine every day for years.
Just like that, I regain the sense of purpose and meaning for my crazy early morning job I was losing fast lately. Just like my pastor warming up the country church in the cold winter for only hands full of morning worshippers, I, too, help warm up the coffee shop, preparing coffee and pastries, for many morning commuters dreading to start another day of the burdensome routine. I am part of the allure, the living element in the busy coffee shop. I am very well aware that coffee shop will still function and operate without me. I am not a critical person there.
But this morning, I am there taking part in the mission. I am on active duty. And it’s a cause worth fighting for, for now. It’s my morning prayer, my sacrifice, and my battle of choice. But most of all, it is where I serve the Lord, right here, right now.
For now, this will work.
So today, I deeply thanked the Lord for giving me His mission.