What I notice at first as I sit still to write is the movement of the clouds. The thick gray rain clouds are quickly passing through, revealing the clear gorgeous sky that was promised in the forecast. After a whole week of non-stop rain, a day of sunshine will be like a big dose of SSRIs. I have been traveling non-stop as well between Maryland and Virginia as I transition from city to country. Some might find these transitions a bit unsettling and confusing, but I find that this movement creates a nice balance for me. I love those quiet nights in the country house and waking up to the roosters breaking the country morning silence but I also love coming back to my modern apartment home with a big glass door to my balcony. When I stand here on my third-floor balcony, I feel so close to the tree tops, so close to the sky, so close to the fast moving clouds.
Today was a day that I would choose to re-live if God gave me such an option. After a relaxing day in Maryland with my toddler, I drove back to Virginia. A package was waiting in front of my front door. It was a book I ordered to teach me how to raise chickens. I dream of our first spring in the country house raising chicks and watching seeds growing into plants. Before I start to educate myself about raising chickens, I order some seeds of lavender, cilantro, Roman chamomile, and strawberries. There is a touch of romance in anticipating the farm life of fresh eggs, blooming flowers, and yummy fruits. This slight leaning into the future with my two feet grounded in the present is the gentle push that moves my life forward. On some good days, life feels like a casual ride on a two-wheel balancing scooter.
Along with the clouds, my day is flowing. Another precious day is gained and yet another precious day is still to be experienced. Life feels so holy, so sacred, and so indescribably beautiful when lived in such a relaxed way. Just as those beautiful clouds floating by effortlessly appear so holy, so sacred.
“Holy means not motivated by any anxiety about self, a style that is open, relaxed, and both grounded and transcendent. A holy person is one who has broken through all anxiety about the ego and is fulfilled in the abundance of vitality that streams through.”
-The Soul’s Religion, Thomas Moore