I heard the prodding of my heart the moment I opened my eyes this morning at six. Very strong-willed voice commanded simply, Gotta run! And I did. I got up, quickly changed into my running clothes, and before I could even let out a sleepy yawn, I was out my farm gate into the fresh Sunday morning where I knew I was promised a private country road with never-tiring view of open field and woods.
From this distance, from this height, everything seems so fleeting, everything seems so drifting. From this perspective, everything seems so light. I’ll have to remember to climb up here again this afternoon when my mood hits its polar-opposite. But that cheery commanding voice in my heart loses her vitality by the end of the morning, and on some afternoons, climbing a low hill just down the road feels so daunting. And so, I heavily walk to my desk to meditate on the Crucifixion. How daunting, how grueling, must have been for Jesus to carry the heavy cross and the sins of the whole world up the mount Calvary knowing that his violent death was imminent?
Staying positive is such a mental battle, I used to think in the past. I used to beat my way into depressive episodes by mercilessly executing physical activities, social events and goals that I believed were expected of me. What I didn’t realize back then was that nothing that I do, no matter how noble or successful they are, cannot bring my soul the genuine hope. My will alone can only get me so far. I didn’t know that Jesus had already done my daunting walk for me and carried the heavy cross that was mine to carry. He died the death that was mine, purely because of his love for me. And this is what he did for every single person that accepts Him as the Savior.
Staying positive is no longer my concern. I am positive, positive about my future with Jesus. I hope everyone will come to understand that only THIS positivity can have power to truly set the suffering soul free from his tormentor’s chain. I hope everyone will come to rest in the knowledge that you do not have to walk the daunting walk. Jesus already did the walk for you.
Be free, dear souls,
be at peace, despite the chaos,
Jesus has already conquered the battle.