My heart is filled with sadness that sprang from the void left by my sister’s leaving. She filled my quiet, solitary days with her sunny and vibrant attitude that she is blessed with. She got on her plane just five hours ago, but I feel as if I haven’t seen her for five years already.
Is it going to be another five years until I see her again? This separation never gets easier no matter how many years go by. Perhaps, I shall grieve this loss of our childhood for the rest of my life. I try my best to keep my tears from falling, because I do not want to display my sadness in front of my toddler. It will frighten her, I am afraid. After I put her in bed for her nap, I am finally free to let my guard down, and let the tight knot in my heart untangle. I think this will be a long process.
On my drive back home from the airport, I suddenly realized that I was already in the deep season of autumn. I also noticed that the leaves have already changed their colors to yellow and red. Some trees have began shedding their leaves. So I sat out in my backyard, where, just 24 hours ago, I was surrounded by my family reunited and completed with the joining of my middle sister from Korea, I shed much tears. Freely and openly. And I thanked God to blesse me with such thick woods in my backyard. Here, I can cry all my might and I don’t need to hide my feelings.
I felt bad having to skip the Mass today because I had to say my farewell to my beloved sister. I opened my Bible to read today’s reading. My heart was still grieving, so heavy with the overwhelming emotions. Then, God was saying;
“Don’t worry about anything; Instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
And just like magic, my heart was filled with God’s peace and I knew everything will be just fine. I just simply thanked God for providing me with such fun ten days with my happy-go-lucky sister from Korea and hoped that He will hasten our reunion in the near future.