I search for music but nothing inspires me. I search for the words to get by this moment, but it’s fruitless. I am looking for some meaning, any meaning to give me a sense of lifting. I need an uplifting moment right now.
I look out the window. It’s dark and cloudy. I remember the playlist on Spotify my Yoga teacher uploaded. It’s titled “DARKNESS FLOW”. I click to shuffle-play it. Behind me, I can feel the warmth from the fireplace. The cracking sound of the burning wood is successfully keeping me here, in this safe place. My wondering mind is browsing its playlist, shuffling the dark memories, skipping from one tune to another that I do not want to hear. I do not want these dark memories to govern my senses right now. I must escape.
Now I am just staring at the cover of my daily devotion. God works in mysterious ways. When my brain is too dormant to process fluid music or written words, and when it seems all my brain is capable of doing is to stare with my blank, meaningless gaze, even there, God sends help. He shows the way out. You must believe me because that’s exactly what happened to me this morning.
I don’t recall how long my blank gaze stayed on the cover of my daily devotion. It’s white and soothing to my eyes. My old habit of staring at a bank white wall is surfacing. I guess that’s why my eyes didn’t bother to wonder. I see huskies pulling a sled that contains a happy family of four. I see a small cabin behind the family sledding down the slop. Perhaps, their fireplace is burning, too, just like mine. The cozy house will be waiting for the family. The fun in the snow will come to a happy end.
This painting led me to visit dukki.com which contains the works of a Korean artist Kim Dukki. His works boast vibrant colors from beautiful scenery of the world from his travels and his imagination, I presume. Most of his paintings have a drawing of a happy family in them. All of his works are annoyingly happy. But today, in the most miraculous ways, his paintings pull me out of my self-activated and hormone-induced misery.
I begin with sledding through the snow filled mountain village and end my journey somewhere in the sunny seaside town. The painting of Kim Dukki brings all of the best memories of my life so far, casting away the dark ones. In the midst of all the news of the dark deaths spreading the globe, I find the meaning of life once again. The reason of our existence is to enjoy God, satisfying our deepest desires of all things Godly. It’s in the joy of a happy family. It’s in the cracking of a fireplace. It’s in the bright yellow painting of a happy scenery. It’s in our daily lives.