Early Thanksgiving

As I was limping through my last month of summer fighting against my recurring panic attacks, fall arrived without my taking notice. The memories of my last summer weeks are jumbled puzzle pieces that I cannot sort out. But it does not matter. I can feel the refreshing cool autumn air every morning I open…

The Days of My Life

Have you ever made a major life decision purely because of a bible verse? You have no reason to do such a thing, no logical basis for the choice you made, but you did it anyway because the bible verse told you so? I had such moments. Small and big moments that shaped the life…

Satisfaction

The Midwest cold front had come and gone and left us with a huge relief from the intolerable heat. It’s cold, even. I sat on my balcony wearing my sweater but the cold air was seeping through. This 30 degree drop of temperature overnight is abnormal. But I have to admit, it is a refreshing…

Stepping out of Darkness

Jealousy, worry, and anger suck life out of my soul. Life in the spiritless body is an empty, hollow void that cannot be filled. It’s a bottomless pit that sucks and swallows up all things alive. Your body embodies the entire hell. And the only way to get out of that hell is to step…

Hope

I’m going for a long walk today. Into the woods, along the lake, muddy trails will guide my path. And on this long, long trail, I finally have time to ponder. I ponder on all the paths that I have taken. I think about how all those small roads have brought me here. It’s a…

Sloth

I really like sloths. Recently, the word ‘sloth’ has become some sort of a keyword, a symbol for a life lived in leisure. If Hygge is for Nordic lifestyle, then sloth is the way to go in Central and South America. And the idea is catching on. We are always so busy, goal driven, breathlessly…

The Epiphany of the Lord

– Sigur Ros: Untitled 3 Sometimes, my prayer takes a form of closing my eyes with my face turned toward the sunrise, soaking and absorbing the warmth. As if evaporated by the heat, my soul flies up and up to the highest. I linger there, unable to utter a single word. Up there, I bow…

A Year of Loving

It rained the morning I went to the bookstore to try my luck on a new devotional book for the new year. As if I were going on a blind date, I felt heart fluttering in anticipation of what I will discover. Unfortunately, my local bookstore’s Christian living section did not have many options for…

Ultimate Therapy Plan

I stare at the wide open road outside my dining room window with forlorn eyes. I can almost picture myself so vividly on that road, running, with my long pony tail swinging fast side to side. My lungs fill with cold morning air, sweats form on my forehead and back, and my mind is on…

The joy of Your Presence, O God

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.  -Psalm 16:11 I am feeling so much peace this early pre-dawn. Soon the responsibilities and realities will dawn on me and my age-old anxiety will return testing my faith but for now…