Silence

Just as I sat down to continue my reading, a sudden shower passed through my neighborhood. I was about to read the chapter titled “A Thundering Silence” from Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise by Thich Nhat Hanh. The roaring sound of the rain shower waved through my backyard as…

If I just let my thoughts fly…

I let my thoughts fly with no bounds. If I let it be, I could be dangerously close to committing something unreal. I guess that was why God had sent me a child. So that I can’t dwell in my thoughts too much. When I had all the freedom to think all my thoughts, I…

Easy Existence

A friend asked me today, “How are you in general?” during our conversation. I answered, “I don’t know. I am functioning. I am at least able to carry out my daily chores. So that’s good enough for me.” I have such low expectation of myself, don’t I? But if you have ever suffered clinical depression,…

Art Remedy

I search for music but nothing inspires me. I search for the words to get by this moment, but it’s fruitless. I am looking for some meaning, any meaning to give me a sense of lifting. I need an uplifting moment right now. I look out the window. It’s dark and cloudy. I remember the…

The Victorious Hand

I finally woke up to the morning after. The morning that I most feared, even before my sister’s arrival from Seoul. My first thought after the phone call from my sister that she booked a flight to visit us was a deep fear. It sparked in my heart even before the joy of reuniting with…

Arise, Little Souls

In tears, I look at the painting hanging on the wall. I purchased the painting on the Big Island while I was living out there. It was my third year and I would soon sail away to move back to the mainland. The painting captured my heart when I first saw it. Under the moonlight,…

The Journey of Revival

I walk in to my new house on my day one here.  I had just sent all my possessions in the moving truck. I followed truck on the beautiful country road and drove for 20 mins to get here. Once I stepped in, the first thing that greets my eyes is the book I thought…

Early Thanksgiving

As I was limping through my last month of summer fighting against my recurring panic attacks, fall arrived without my taking notice. The memories of my last summer weeks are jumbled puzzle pieces that I cannot sort out. But it does not matter. I can feel the refreshing cool autumn air every morning I open…

I Am Enough

The new school year started and the morning school bus stops all the traffic. I can’t see the yellow bus picking up the students on my deck but I can tell because all the cars come to a stop yielding the way for the bus and the students. Then the bus door closes and the…

Autumn Breeze

While I was half complaining, half getting the most out of those hot summer days that reach over 90 degrees, summer has passed and gone. I suddenly find myself on my deck in the cold autumn breeze. Even with my black warm sweater, I feel the shiver. My body is not used to this chill…