How Are You

How are you. I just realized that I haven’t been asked that question in so long. Stuck at home since February, every day is a survival game. I feel as if I am hanging by the thread, doing my best not to irritate the thin balance by adding more tension. How am I? It is…

Something Meaningful

* * * Running in the highest heat of the day makes me envision a lone cyclist racing through a deserted road in the middle of a desert. The burning heat of the asphalt quickly raises my body temperature enabling me to sweat to my heart’s content. The heavy weight I carry in my heart vanishes…

Blueberry Mornings

The phone rings. It’s a video call from my cousin in Korea. I don’t pick up. It’s my usual response to phone calls. I rarely pick up incoming calls unless it comes from my direct family. You can imagine that my phone stays silent most times. Instead, I message her about 30 minutes later. She…

Silence

Just as I sat down to continue my reading, a sudden shower passed through my neighborhood. I was about to read the chapter titled “A Thundering Silence” from Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise by Thich Nhat Hanh. The roaring sound of the rain shower waved through my backyard as…

If I just let my thoughts fly…

I let my thoughts fly with no bounds. If I let it be, I could be dangerously close to committing something unreal. I guess that was why God had sent me a child. So that I can’t dwell in my thoughts too much. When I had all the freedom to think all my thoughts, I…

Easy Existence

A friend asked me today, “How are you in general?” during our conversation. I answered, “I don’t know. I am functioning. I am at least able to carry out my daily chores. So that’s good enough for me.” I have such low expectation of myself, don’t I? But if you have ever suffered clinical depression,…

Art Remedy

I search for music but nothing inspires me. I search for the words to get by this moment, but it’s fruitless. I am looking for some meaning, any meaning to give me a sense of lifting. I need an uplifting moment right now. I look out the window. It’s dark and cloudy. I remember the…

The Victorious Hand

I finally woke up to the morning after. The morning that I most feared, even before my sister’s arrival from Seoul. My first thought after the phone call from my sister that she booked a flight to visit us was a deep fear. It sparked in my heart even before the joy of reuniting with…

Arise, Little Souls

In tears, I look at the painting hanging on the wall. I purchased the painting on the Big Island while I was living out there. It was my third year and I would soon sail away to move back to the mainland. The painting captured my heart when I first saw it. Under the moonlight,…

The Journey of Revival

I walk in to my new house on my day one here.  I had just sent all my possessions in the moving truck. I followed truck on the beautiful country road and drove for 20 mins to get here. Once I stepped in, the first thing that greets my eyes is the book I thought…