Blueberry Mornings

The phone rings. It’s a video call from my cousin in Korea. I don’t pick up. It’s my usual response to phone calls. I rarely pick up incoming calls unless it comes from my direct family. You can imagine that my phone stays silent most times. Instead, I message her about 30 minutes later. She…

Arise, Little Souls

In tears, I look at the painting hanging on the wall. I purchased the painting on the Big Island while I was living out there. It was my third year and I would soon sail away to move back to the mainland. The painting captured my heart when I first saw it. Under the moonlight,…

The Journey of Revival

I walk in to my new house on my day one here.  I had just sent all my possessions in the moving truck. I followed truck on the beautiful country road and drove for 20 mins to get here. Once I stepped in, the first thing that greets my eyes is the book I thought…

Early Thanksgiving

As I was limping through my last month of summer fighting against my recurring panic attacks, fall arrived without my taking notice. The memories of my last summer weeks are jumbled puzzle pieces that I cannot sort out. But it does not matter. I can feel the refreshing cool autumn air every morning I open…

Miracle

I missed going to book cafes in Seoul so I made a small book cafe in the corner of my kitchen. I could easily find one to visit here but it’s not the same. I moved a small book shelf from my child’s room and took a quick trip to the local library. My daughter…

Satisfaction

The Midwest cold front had come and gone and left us with a huge relief from the intolerable heat. It’s cold, even. I sat on my balcony wearing my sweater but the cold air was seeping through. This 30 degree drop of temperature overnight is abnormal. But I have to admit, it is a refreshing…

You Never Walk Alone

What is the hardest emotion that you’ve ever felt? An emotion that engulfed your entire existence and made the world as you knew disappear? The moment you lost your childlike innocence, the moment that formed deep wrinkles on the surface of your soul, and  the moment that robbed the joy out of your heart and…

Stepping out of Darkness

Jealousy, worry, and anger suck life out of my soul. Life in the spiritless body is an empty, hollow void that cannot be filled. It’s a bottomless pit that sucks and swallows up all things alive. Your body embodies the entire hell. And the only way to get out of that hell is to step…

Ultimate Therapy Plan

I stare at the wide open road outside my dining room window with forlorn eyes. I can almost picture myself so vividly on that road, running, with my long pony tail swinging fast side to side. My lungs fill with cold morning air, sweats form on my forehead and back, and my mind is on…

Everything Is Grace

I had just finished praying the rosary. Tears flooded down my face wetting the floor. I could hardly open my eyes after crying for a couple of hours. Lord, help me finish this life, not by my own power but purely by your grace. When these words poured out of my mouth, my tears finally…